Resurrection (humor)
A 2013 humorous smartphone take (Ѻ) on the myth of resurrection of Jesus (see: death and resurrection of Jesus); a story based on, via a Roman recension rewrite, the resurrection of Osiris (see: death and resurrection of Osiris); a story based on, via an early dynasty recension rescript, of the annual Nov-Dec astro-theological raising of the Orion constellation (see: raising of Orion).
In religio-mythology, resurrection, as contrasted with “reincarnation”, refers to the astro-theology based "raising of the Orion" constellation model turned belief that a person can be raised from the dead, like the imagined to be Orion star-shaped person in the sky, e.g. Orion the pharaoh (Egyptians), Orion the hunter (Greeks), an astronomical phenomena that occurs in Nov; in Egyptian religio-mythology, this became the famous three-millennium-plus believed story of the death and resurrection of Osiris; during the Roman recension, this story became monotheized into the two-millennium-plus believed story of the death and resurrection of Jesus. [1]

In Judaism, the discussion of resurrection ideas, prior to Christianity proper (c.330AD), did not have as much focus as it did in Christianity; the following is bit of rare Judaic commentary on resurrection:

“All Israel has a share in the world to come, as Isaiah said: and all of your people who are righteous will merit eternity and inherent the land. And these are the people who do not merit the world to come: (a) the ones who say that there is no resurrection of the dead, (b) those who deny the Torah is from the heavens, and (c) the Epicureans.”
— Anon (c.200AD), Mishnah (§:Sanhedrin) [1]


In the Bible, there are nine main characters, in total, are said to have been raised from the dead: [1]

1. Widow of Zarephath’s son (by Elijah) [1st Kings 17:22]
2. Shunammite woman (by Elisha) [2nd Kings 4]
3. Anon man (by the bones of Elisha) [2nd Kings 13]
4. Widow of Nain’s son (by Jesus) [Luke 7]
5. Jairus’ daughter (by Jesus) [Luke 8]
6. Lazarus (by Jesus) [John 11]
7. Jesus (by god) [Matthew 28:6; Acts 2]
8. Dorcas (by Peter) [Acts 9]
9. Eutychus (by Paul) [Acts 20]

This does not include whole slew of saints that arose from the dead when Jesus died on the cross [Matthew 27:52].

There is also, to note, the confused account, as told in Matthew 14:2 (Ѻ), of Jesus rumored to be John the Baptist “risen from the dead” after which John the Baptist is beheaded (Matthew 14:10), while in prison. Robert Price (2006) has given some discussion (Ѻ) of this this.

Not only did Jesus, according to the Bible, have the power to raise people from the dead (three people: #4, #5, and #6), but so did Elijah (two people: #1, #2), Elisha’s bones (#3), Peter (#8), and Paul (#9)?
Lazarus raising (humor)
Two humorous “raising of Lazarus” (Ѻ) cartoons, the most-infamous resurrection in the Bible, per reason that Lazarus had been dead for four days (the most delayed of all resurrections); the Biblical character Lazarus being a Greek to Latin translation of La Azarus, aka "The Osiris".

Lazarus | Osiris
The important "raising from the dead" person here, to keep in mind, is that of Lazarus (see: raising of Lazarus), aka "L’Azarus" or "El Osiris", as independently pointed out by John Morris (1880), Gerald Massey (1883), and Albert Parsons (1893), as he was originally called, being that this is code for Egyptian god reduction: the ‘god Osiris’, as children of olden days were taught, becomes the ‘person Lazarus’, as children in modern times are taught. [1]

The following are noted quotes:

“It appears that Thomas [see: Doubting Thomas] did not believe the resurrection and as they say would not believe without having ocular and manual demonstration himself. So neither will I: and the reason is equally as good for me and every other person as for Thomas.”
Thomas Paine (1794), The Age of Reason (pg. 27); cited by Jennifer Hecht (2003) in Doubt: a History (pg. 356)

Paul simply shifted the center of gravity of that whole life to a place behind this existence—in the lie of the “risenJesus. What was the only part of Christianity that Muhammed borrowed later on? Paul’s invention, his device for establishing priestly tyranny and organizing the mob: the belief in the immortality of the soulthat is to say, the doctrine of “judgment.... That every man, because he has an “immortal soul,” is as good as every other man; that in an infinite universe of things the “salvation” of every individual may lay claim to eternal importance; that insignificant bigots and the three-fourths insane may assume that the laws of nature are constantly suspended in their behalf.”
Friedrich Nietzsche (1888), The Anti-Christ (§42-43)

“An analysis of our Easter rituals, which seemingly purport purely Christian significance, will reveal that similar miraculous events occurred in faiths of civilizations which preceded the Christian era by thousands of years. For example, Dupuis writes' that Krishna, the crucified Hindu Savior, rose from the dead. Similar stories circulated about Buddha' the Chinese Lao-Kium, and Zoroaster. Ovid's poem, written at the time of the Roman Emperor Augustus, describes Aesculapius, the ‘son of god’, as being put to death and being resurrected. Likewise, the savior Adonis or Tammuz, after being put to death, arose from the dead. Julius Firmicius, an eminent early Christian priest and scholar who lived during the reign of Constantine and therefore at the time of the Council of Nicaea (325 AD) gives an account of the rites of Adonis. He is struck by the similarity of the heathen mysteries with the Christian sacrament honoring the death and resurrection of Christ Jesus. Alexander Murray quotes the exclamation which the ancient Greeks used during their Easter festival: ‘Adonis lives and is risen again’. In our Christian Easter services, the name of Christ replaces Adonis.”
— Karel Huier (1946), “The Astronomical Significance of Easter” [4]

1. Thims, Libb. (2016). Smart Atheism: For Kids (pdf | 309-pgs). Publisher.
2. (a) List of people that were raised from the dead (2016) –
(b) Accounts of people raised from the dead –
3. (a) Paine, Thomas. (1795). The Age of Reason (editor: Moncure Conway) (txt) (disbelieve, pg. 23; Quaker, pg. 62). Merchant Books, 1896.
(b) Hecht, Jennifer M. (2003). Doubt: A History: The Great Doubters and Their Legacy of Innovation from Socrates and Jesus to Thomas (pgs. 356-57). HarperOne.
4. Hujer, Karel. (1946). “The Astronomical Significance of Easter” (Ѻ), Popular Astronomy, 154:131-34.

External links
Resurrection – Wikipedia.

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